Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
