Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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