Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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