no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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