Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize