Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
