you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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