I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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