thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
