just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
