I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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