Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
