i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
