i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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