I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
