I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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