Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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