I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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