Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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