Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
