Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
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She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
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Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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