And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
