Swine flu is the new snow day.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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