just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
