Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
