so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
