Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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