You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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