I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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