just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
