so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
