this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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