im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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