Sry I called you an 8
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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