I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
