you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
