i jhust puked up my retainher.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
