How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
