Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
