look no pants
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
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I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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