omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
