yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
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