would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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