I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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