i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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