Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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