I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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