literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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