Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
