apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My vagina is officially offended.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
