I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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