so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
