I'm gonna have a badass scar
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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