No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize