My friends, they love my intelligence
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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