I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
