I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So much Jack, so little girl.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
