You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
