East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
