hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
